Picky Eater
by Dru
Summary: Ianto learns the dangers of being a picky eater. Owen earns his paycheck. Co-writen with Quallianmaghouin.
1. Chapter 1

Ianto carefully made his way up the steps to the conference room, trying to see his feet around the box of take out bags. The hub rolled gently under him, and he didn't trust his sense of balance at the moment. He stopped at the door, focusing on it's handle as the world dimmed and brightened. This was the fourth time in as many days and it was starting to get annoying. It felt almost, but not quite, like having a concussion and the flu at the same time.

As he tried to figure out exactly how he was supposed to turn the handle with two armfuls of food, he closed his eyes, waiting for the dizzy spell to pass. It always did. There a Mountain Dew buried amongst the chicken fried rice and pepper steaks. That would help.

Ianto blinked, and the handle came in to focus. He tried to shift his burden to free one arm, and cursed as the box started to slide. He settled for giving the bottom of the door a sharp kick with his foot, smiling gratefully as Tosh opened the door for him.

The rest of the team was already seated, staring at the food expectantly. Had they silverware they would probably be banging it on the table. Jack moaned appreciatively as the smell of Chinese filled the room

"Feeding time at the zoo." Ianto said cheerfully, setting down the box, and dodging a swat from the captain.

He didn't bother to check the receipt, Gwen had ordered out, calling the tourist office to warn Ianto just as the door buzzed, but she would have ordered "the usual". He sorted out the Styrofoam boxes, placing them in front of each team member. They were starting to become predictable. General Tso's for Tosh. Chicken fried rice for both Gwen and Owen. Pepper steak, and all of the fortune cookies for Jack. Which left veggie spring rolls and rice for him.

The others resumed their casual lunchtime conversations as they dug in.

Ianto sat down gratefully, just in time to avoid another dizzy spell, and opened his own box. Rice. And…chicken. He wrinkled his nose slightly, and glanced at the paper taped to the box. 1 Pepper Steak, 3 Chicken fried rice, 1 General Tso's. Gwen must have ordered wrong. Perfectly understandable of course. It's not like they ever ordered Chinese before, not like they all ate the same meals every time. Ianto bit back his irritation, knowing it was a side effect of...whatever was wrong.

He tapped his chopsticks absently against the container. He hadn't eaten meat since Breacon Beacons. He had always been plagued with a vivid imagination, and even now he was picturing some unwashed savage from the countryside chasing a chicken around the conference table with a baseball bat and cleaver.

Ianto's stomach grumbled though not put off in the slightest by the image and Ianto sighed, tucking a paper napkin into his collar. He began to carefully sort through the plate, piling up pieces of chicken and egg on the container's lid. Of course, the rice had been touching the chicken, soaking up juices. Ianto tried not to think about it.

He was so intent on ridding his plate of any trace of meat that it took him a minute to realize the conference room was silent. He looked up, and blinked at four sets of eyes, watching intently. "What?"

"Picky eater?" Owen asked, with a raised eyebrow and a snort. "I don't think I've seen anyone over six do that."

"I'm a vegetarian." Ianto answered, busying himself with opening his Mountain Dew and pouring it in a glass. He still felt the itch of eyes on him

"Since when?" Owen spoke around a mouthful of rice.

"Since someone with authority in the matter told me that I'd taste just like chicken if I was boiled long enough." He picked up a piece of the white meat to illustrate his point, and with a graceful flick of his chopsticks sent it across the table to land in Owen's plate. He smiled slightly at Owen's shocked face. It wasn't every day the prim and proper Teaboy flung food about.

"The restaurant must have given me the wrong plate." Ianto continued, finally scooping up a small ball of rice. "It's okay. I can just eat around the meat."

Owen speared the piece of chicken with a shrug, popping it in his mouth. "Mind if I-?" he waved a fork at the pile of chicken, and Ianto pushed the container lid toward the other man. It was intercepted by Jack.

"Hey!" Owen protested

"Captain's Privileges." Jack said with a smirk, raking half of the meat into his own plate before passing the rest.

Conversation soon resumed. Ianto listened, adding a comment or laugh occasionally, gently steering talk back to safe subjects when Jack's stories got to outrageous.

Ianto was clearing away the empty containers, and Jack was redistributing the fortune cookies, the man insisted on personally matching up each wrapped cookie with a particular teammate, when Jack's wrist started beeping wildly.

Jack threw the last cookie to Ianto, before consulting the band. Ianto cracked it open, and pulled out the slip of paper. "Good food brings health and longevity." That wasn't even a real fortune. Ianto felt a little let down, what had happened to a little bit of prophecy? Shouldn't a fortune foretell something?

"3 Weevils on the loose. Ianto! I want you with us."

Ianto didn't question. Jack had been bringing him out on some of the more mundane missions. He wondered if it had anything to do with the office pool. There were bets on how many ruined suits it would take before he finally snapped and showed up to work in jeans. Ianto had tried to bet on '42' but Gwen said it was against the rules to bet on himself.

"Ianto!" Jack yelled, already halfway down the stairs.

Ianto shook his head, clearing away the darkness that had been building up near the corners of his eyes. "Coming!" he called, stifling a sudden yawn as he tucked his fortune cookie into his jacket pocket, following the rest of Torchwood Three to the garage.


	2. Chapter 2

Ianto blinked repeatedly trying to clear his vision. The team was running down an ally and the slight dizziness of before seemed to be getting worse. The whole alley dipped and bobbed drunkenly in front of him, and the air felt like ice around him. He suspected that was just him though. For once Cardiff was sunny, and very nearly warm. A wall swooped towards him and he veered at the last moment, running blind as his eyes protested the swift change.

Owen was behind him, panting and wheezing like an asthmatic. That man, Ianto thought distractedly, was going to drop dead of a heart attack in the middle of a chase, one of these days, Ianto was positive of it. Maybe Owen would join a gym, would if he knew he could stare at toned bodies. That was the ticket. When they got back he-

The path in front of him suddenly bobbed wildly, and the colour dripped from his vision. He paused, startled and looked at the ground, expecting maybe a puddle of blues and reds on the pavement. He blinked, gasped as the world heaved and pitched in slow motion.

The ground leapt at Ianto and he met it, falling into a muddled sort of gray.

---

Owen fucking hated running. Why did the aliens always, _always_, have to run? Couldn't they just go along quietly, or die quickly? But no they had to fucking drag him off though the streets of Cardiff, running till he thought he was going to pass out.

He looked ahead and saw Ianto running a few yards in front of him. How the fucking tea boy, in a three-piece suit no less, could run so fast he'd never know. Stupid long legs. He squinted. Actually Ianto was a lot closer then he'd expected. Normally he'd be ahead of even Jack, running like a scared little crack bunny being chased by a pack of wolves. What the hell was he doing all the way back here?

Suddenly Ianto stumbled and went down. By the time Owen's brain had gotten a handle on the situation he had already passed the fallen man, grinding to a halt.

"FUCK!" He yelled, partially to himself, and partially into his comm. He spun sharply, nearly taking him self down, and ran back to Ianto.

Owen landed on his knees next to the still body and pressed his fingers against Ianto's throat. He was relived to find a strong, if fast heartbeat there. Of course they were running, his own heart was trying the claw it's way out of his ribcage. so a fast heartbeat wasn't that surprising.

"Owen? What the hell is going on back there?" Jack demanded over the comm.

"I don't know! Ianto just collapsed! Keep going after the weevils, I got him."

"Shit! I'm com-"

"Get the fucking weevils Jack!" Owen growled.

There was a brief hesitation before Jack answered. "Keep me updated!" he ordered, but Owen turned him out while he started checking for any signs of injuries before he moved Ianto. No blood, no obvious injuries, all limbs pointing in the right direction. Owen ran his fingers over Ianto's neck checking for any damage.

"Ianto? Hey, mate, come on wakey, wakey." He turned him over on his back, examining the scrape above Ianto's eye, bleeding sluggishly, already swelling from where it had connected with the ground. That seemed to be the only thing out of the ordinary, barring the unconsciousness, of course.

"Nap times over, time to wake up and tell me what the fuck is going on here!"

Ianto groaned as Owen lightly slapped his cheek. "Wha-what happened?"

"You know, everyone says that. How do you feel? Can you move? Anything broken?"

"I- uh" Ianto paused, with a look of worried concentration. "I don't think so. I mean I don't… think so." Ianto started to push him self up, and Owen put a supporting hand under his arm to help him. Ianto went a shade whiter and dropped his head, swallowing roughly

Owen put a hand on either side of Ianto's face, tipping it back up and looking in his eyes. "Pupils are equal." Owen probed at Ianto's forehead, and Ianto winced. "That's gonna be nasty." He frowned, studying Ianto. His lips were white too. Bloodless, and Ianto looked exhausted.

Owen grabbed Ianto's hand looking at his fingernails. The beds were colorless, and the nails dull and splintered. "You're really pale." He said. Ianto was staring at his fingernails as well, looking fascinated. Owen shook him slightly to get his attention while started looking for any injuries or sources of blood loss again.

"Ianto have you been bleeding, given blood, anything like that?"

"What? No. I just...I got dizzy and tripped."

"You were unconscious, and you're white as a sheet." Owen glared at Ianto finger as he pressed down. A small moon shaped dent appeared in the soft fingernail, where Owen had dug his own in.

Ianto yanked his hand away, bringing his fingers up to prod at the bloody abrasion over his eye. "Well I hit my head...I think."

"That doesn't explain why you look like you're bleeding out..." Owen had seen the look more than a few times, and it usually resulted in him being drenched in someone else's blood. Unless it was internal.

The jacket came off easily, despite Ianto's protests, but Owen cursed as he got to the waistcoat, resisting the urge to just rip it open. He flinched as cold fingers brushed against his, and Ianto carefully unbuttoned the waist coat.

He yanked up Ianto's shirt, ignoring Ianto's disgruntled yelp, running his hands over the younger man's stomach and chest. No bruising, swelling, tenderness. Nothing. "We should get you back to the hub so I can run some tests."

"Oh." Ianto said softly, buttoning his waistcoat back up, over an untucked shirt.

"Don't oh me. Tell me the exact symptoms you were having before you passed out." Owen made a grab for Ianto as he swayed again, making sure he was steady before withdrawing his hands.

"Um. Dizziness. Flashes of hot and cold. My vision kept going in and out." Ianto bit back another yawn, dropping his head to grind the heel of his hand against his temple. "Confusion. Exhaustion. Headache now. It's never lasted this long before."

"...Before? You've been having problems? And you didn't say anything? I'm not a mind reader Ianto! I can't help you, if you don't tell me you're sick!"

Ianto frowned. "I- maybe its low blood sugar or something?"

"We just ate lunch 15 minutes ago, and you were chugging liquid sugar." Owen argued and then froze. "Lunch...you're fucking anemic!" Owen slapped the ground, the medic in him thrilled that he had solved the puzzle, and relieved that it was something he could fix.

"What?"

"It's when your-"

Ianto snorted quietly. "I know _what_ it is. But what makes you think-"

Owen cut him off in turn. "You're a vegetarian and you live on the same crap fast food we eat, so you're not making up for the lost iron in your diet. You fucking idiot."

"You- how can you go straight to that? You don't know...it could be something else."

Owen rolled his eyes. "I'm a doctor? I'm aware of the connection between not eating iron, and having low iron levels? You need to eat vegetables high in iron, and eat a balanced diet, and take a multivitamin, if you're not going to eat meat. Have you been doing any of that?"

Ianto glanced down at his feet and Owen snorted.

"You can't just decide 'meat is icky, I'm not eating it anymore' and keep going, you need to make changes to keep your self from getting sick like this."

Evidently, Ianto was still feeling a little off kilter, he stared at Owen for a full minute before replying, indignantly "You wouldn't know a vegetable if it smacked you in the face!"

"Yes but I eat meat!"

"Oh yes of course, and that's all the matters!" Ianto went to rub his head again and Owen grabbed the hand before it could aggravate the abrasion above his eye.

He rubbed his own face. "You are such a fucking pain in the arse. You'll live if you start eating meat, eat better, or take a supplement. Probably both of the last two. Other wise enjoy passing out, tiredness, weakness, shortness of breath, and other exciting symptoms. Or maybe even some nice heart palpitations and heart failure if it gets bad enough." Owen shook his head sharply and stood up, pulling Ianto to his feet, holding on to him to a minute to make sure he wouldn't fall over. "I'll run some blood tests when we get back to the hub to confirm, but I'm positive I'm right. Come on let get you to the SUV."

He steered Ianto easily back the way they had come, having to stop occasionally while the younger man tried to stay upright. Ianto had to feel like shit, something that made Owen feel marginally better. Maybe if he scared him, the little idiot would think twice about letting himself get so bad again.

"Owen!"

Owen rolled his eyes at Jack's angry growl in his ear.

"Yes?" Owen asked as Ianto stumbled again, landing in the passenger seat of the SUV. He reached over and bucked the younger man in, before pulling out a small med kit. "Hunting go well?"


	3. Chapter 3

Ianto lay on the autopsy table, the cold metal seeping through the folded blanket that Owen had tossed over it, feeling vaguely guilty. Horribly guilty. Nothing had happened. The team had been fine. They'd caught one of the weevils without them, but he had managed to take two members of the team out of commission, and something might have easily happened to the other three without them there. Or to Owen because he stayed behind. Maybe they would have caught all three weevils if Ianto hadn't managed to screw up so royally.

And Jack, Tosh and Gwen hadn't even been mad. That was the worst part. They were all concern and worry and not the slightest hint of anger or disappointment. They just manhandled the weevil into the back, and piled into the SUV. Not even an 'I told you, you weren't eating right!' from Jack. Nothing but caring and support, and doe eyes from Gwen. Owen's snarling insults and verbal abuse was rather soothing compared to the overwhelming kindness of the rest of the team. At least Owen was acting normal.

When they got back to the hub Owen had spirited him off to the autopsy bay, warning off the others, and diving into a series of exams, tests, and vials full of drawn blood. With orders to Ianto not to sit up, the ceiling was rocking slightly anyway, he had gone off to do…something. Ianto hadn't really been listening, but it had been awhile.

A wave of nausea rolled over Ianto and he levered himself up just as Owen came back down. He was carrying a stack of papers and two Styrofoam cups. "Stay still you idiot. Results are back. Just as I said you're anemic."

Owen made his was down the stairs and waited to make sure Ianto wasn't going to fall over before continuing. "I'm going to give you a very long list of instructions and I expect them to be followed. I don't seriously expect you to suddenly start cooking, God only knows if you actually go home anymore, but you're going to order healthier choices, take vitamins, and make an effort to eat a more balanced diet to make up for the lack of meat."

Ianto opened his mouth, and Owen talked over him. "You can't live off of cheese pizzas and coffee. You'll also be taking Iron and Vitamin C pills for the time being. And if you don't listen to me and be a good little patient, I'm telling Jack you have an eating disorder and let him coddle you to within an inch of your life."

"...You are a very evil man Owen."

"I know." Owen grinned and plopped one of the Styrofoam cups into Ianto's hand. "You need to drink. It will help with your iron levels"

The label on the side proclaimed it to be Juicy's Organic Smoothies, Gwen occasionally brought in some drink from the fruit and juice bar. He preferred coffee himself. Ianto studied the drink suspiciously, and then sniffed it. Chocolate. He gave Owen an odd look and took a tentative sip. "It's not bad, but how is it supposed to help?

Owen grin grew even wider, and Ianto felt suddenly very worried. He put the drink down. "What?"

" Brownie Batter Blitz. Carob, Yogurt, Dates… and Spinach."

Ianto didn't quite manage to stifle a gagging noise.

"Drink, or be coddled to death. Spinach is high in Iron and you liked it fine before you knew what it was. The others are waiting in Jack's office ready to pounce as soon as I tell them it's ok. And Gwen's dying to know why I sent her out for smoothie in the middle of a 'medical emergency' as she put it."

Ianto groaned and sipped at the drink, repressing a shudder. It was wrong for something so against the laws of nature to taste so wonderful.

"Get used to it. It's eat meat or have a lot more things like that." Owen paused and tilted his head at the cup. "Or start cooking your own meals and buy cast iron pots and pans. That can help too. Just shut up and enjoy your smoothie!"

Ianto lifted the Styrofoam in a mock salute, and tug another large swallow.

Owen raised the other cup, drinking his own, garishly orange, drink.

"Don't suppose the rest of you can suffer too?"

Owen held up and shook his own cup. "What the hell. If I have to force-feed you, I might as well torture us all in one go. Share the pain and all that. Already got them lined up for physicals."

Ianto snickered wondering how their other teammates were taking that news.

Owen seemed to read his mind. "Jack doesn't care, he'll put anything you put in front of him in his mouth, Gwen and Tosh think it's a good idea, so really only you and I are suffering. So expect me to be extra evil to you. Misery loves company."

Ianto narrowed his eyes, and then grinned. "Well it wouldn't hurt you to eat better. I've seen the way you drink, might as well make up for that a little...and try to get a few extra calories. I'm fairly sure the human body is supposed to have something between the skin and bones."

Owen snorted. "Of course _Doctor_ Jones. Where exactly did you study medicine, again? I keep forgetting."

Ianto reached over and poked Owen in the side. "I can feel ribs."

Owen swatted his hand. "Stop that. I'm not under weight."

Ianto pulled his t-shirt up. "And _see_ ribs. That is, by any standard, too thin."

Owen smacked his hand again. "I can still sic Jack on you."

"As I can sic him on you. And I can show him bones sticking out, to go with my story of." Ianto cleared his throat and when he spoke again he sounded deeply worried. "Jack, I'm worried about Owen. Have you...noticed anything about him lately? I just happened to catch him in the locker room the other day...he's looking i awfully /i thin. Do you think he might be ill? Or even...an eating disorder?"

"Oooh you evil little bastard!" Despite his words, Owen had a grin on his face.

Ianto shrugged, leaning back and tipping the last bit of smoothie into his mouth. He decided that he was just going to blame the teasing mood he found himself in on iron deficiency. Not too far off actually. Owen had said it would take a few days to get all the cobwebs out. "If you're going to torture me with vegetables, then I'm going to return the favour... and maybe some weight gain powder or something." He poked Owen in the side again, this time with the straw he had just finished licking, hoping to keep his fingers out of smacking range. "Maybe start going to the gym too...you could do with some exercise other then running after aliens, gasping for air like a fish out of water."

"How did this go from your lack of iron in your diet, to you giving me orders about mine?"

Ianto shrugged.

Owen rolled his eyes and took a swallow of his drink. "I'm going to go tell the others you're going to live. It was a simple lack of iron, and we've already made changes to fix it, so no need to worry." He recited. "Just behave your self or I'm taking that back, and having them coddle you to death!"

"As will I." Ianto said serenely, flopping back down on to the table to contemplate the gently swaying ceiling. After a moment, he frowned and reached into his jacket pocket, pulling out the slip of paper from his fortune cookie. He read it again and shook his head with a quiet laugh. Never could tell could you?


End file.
